


I'm so numb, I can't lie, I'd be fine if you left tonight

by lifeinecstasy



Series: Luke pairings (Lashton, Muke and Cake) [1]
Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band), Youngblood - 5 Seconds Of Summer (Album)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, Angst and Tragedy, Cock Slut, Declarations Of Love, Developing Relationship, Dom/sub Undertones, Emotionally disturbed, Explicit Sexual Content, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Falling In Love, Hate Sex, Hate to Love, Heavy Angst, Love Confessions, Love/Hate, M/M, Multi, Not Happy, Past Relationship(s), Pre-Relationship, Rough Sex, Sad, Sad Ending, Sex, Sexual Fantasy, Sexual Humor, Sexual Tension, Sexual Violence, Slight reference to childhood trauma, Teen Angst, Tragic Romance, Unhealthy Relationships, Unrequited Love, Verbal Abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-29
Updated: 2020-06-29
Packaged: 2021-03-04 03:07:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,440
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24976573
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lifeinecstasy/pseuds/lifeinecstasy
Summary: cake !angst!
Relationships: Luke Hemmings/Ashton Irwin, Luke Hemmings/Calum Hood, Michael Clifford/Luke Hemmings
Series: Luke pairings (Lashton, Muke and Cake) [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1843999
Comments: 5
Kudos: 3





	I'm so numb, I can't lie, I'd be fine if you left tonight

**Author's Note:**

> !angst! and song based : "Numb" by Carlie Hanson, listen to it and the plot will make so much more sense.

Is it so wrong to not commit? To be the free bird amongst homes and life partners and stability? Is it eternal sin to be enthralled by the soulless enigma of sex? I wonder sometimes. 

Calum was a good one: courteous, chill, sweet when required, and monstrous the next. 

Our meeting was undesirable. I was running, a rare occurrence because exercise is supposed to be solo. Everything is supposed to be solo. Free-riders don’t need company. 

Panting and perspiring and puffing out air, I tried to regulate my breathing when a strange bush came into view. My hair slotted out of my eyes, allowing me to see that it was a boy. 

I smiled in triumph. Good guys come along once in a blue moon. When they do, you gotta grab em in the ass. So I did; not literally of course, don’t wanna scare him off before we’ve even started.

“Hey man, whatcha looking at?” That’s how you approach strangers, cool and confident, if also soaking in sweat and not smelling very seducing. 

“Uh, hi. I…” His eyes flicked to the sunset, “Passing by, stopped to admire this.” 

“Why’re you so sad?” I laughed once. “It isn’t a crime.”

“Yeah, I know.” Oh wow, he had dimples that transformed his sizzling profile to that of a puppy. Yes, I need this boy. 

“Luke.” I breathed, readily forgoing my run. 

“I’m Calum,” He raised his hand as if going for a handshake, then thinking better off it and just jerking it forward in a convoluted wave.

I waved back, “Hello Calum, you live nearby?”

Our definitions of near were grossly different. I trudged along 100 streets, scouting corners and peeking through lanes to reach his house 398318 hours later. 

“What? I ran a lot, okay?” 

Calum smiled, turning away from my bent figure and unlocking his door. “You run?”

I stepped closer. “Why are you surprised?” The smirk leaped from his face to mine. 

“Uh.. you don’t resemble the sport type, is all.” He headed towards the kitchen. 

“Jocks aren’t the only ones good at sex.” 

Calum choked on his glass of water. 

——x——

“Calum” I whispered into his right ear, moaning as he made yet another mark on my neck, hands sliding down my back. 

“You’re so tall.” He commented, flipping himself on top of me. Calum’s in for a rude awakening if he thinks he can dominate me. 

I pulled Calum’s head out of my neck, wanting those lips on mine to clear my thoughts, figure out what I wanted. Right now, my dick would take anything. 

“There’s a condom in my bag.” 

His eyes squinted into a smile, “Who said I was going to fuck you?”

I growled, pulling his head down, “I did.” 

He moaned, tugging off my pants and throwing them with the shirts. “Whatever you say, baby.” 

I rolled us over to take off his. His Adam’s apple bobbed underneath my lips when I squeezed the wet spot on his boxers. 

“Looks like someone wants us to hurry.” I pat him, soon letting my hands get rid of the useless article altogether. 

“Now you.” And I was back down again. This could very well be a competition of who tops. 

“Ow!” I complained as Calum clutched my butt a little too hard, “Careful you asshole!”  
“Shh be nice I’m going to fuck you.” 

I snorted as he fetched the lube despite knowing I had prepped already. 

“Oh fuck yeah.” 

He added a third finger and I sighed but pushed his shoulders. Could he hurry the fuck up and put his dick in already?

Pulling the condom on, he focussed on the dick slowly moving into me. I closed my eyes, letting out a low whine at the pleasure of the long-awaited feeling. 

“Move.” I ordered, and Calum did a snail’s job of sliding out and back in, more focussed on kissing my shoulder blades. 

“Calum.” I buried a hand in his curls, “Move it. Faster.”

He smiled and I finally got my wish: satiating sex - a powerful orgasm from a pretty dick slamming into me, pretty tongue eating me out, pretty hands touching me - all of it.

——x——

Two weeks and I couldn’t get enough of it. Nor could Calum. 

“You’re so beautiful, Luke” He complimented me for the 100th time; it’s a bonus. 

I shoved him off. “You’re crushing my beauty, Calum.” 

He collapsed onto the bed, seemingly speaking to the ceiling, but his words were meant for me. “I love you.”

“Yeah right.” I laughed, beginning to dress despite the wonderful ache in my ass.

“I’ll call you back when I feel the need.” I called, opening the door. 

“What? I just confessed my feelings and you’re just gonna leave?” His face was upset.

“We were just chilling Calum.” My smile only deepened his frown. “Just a little bit of company, that’s all you’re gonna get from me”

“No, that’s not what you said.” Tears built in his eyes, “You said..”  
“Trust me, I’m not the one you want to stay. You would know that if you knew me that way.” I lost too much when I got too close. “So tall.” He commented, flipping himself on top of me. Calum’s in for a rude awakening if he thinks he can dominate me. 

I pulled Calum out of my neck, pasting those lips on mine. Control was hard because my dick wanted everything. 

“There’s a condom in my bag.” 

His eyes squinted into a smile, “Who said I would fuck you?”

I growled, tugging his head down, “I did.” 

He moaned, tugging off my pants. “Whatever you say, baby.” 

I rolled us over to take off his. My lips pressed on his Adam’s apple as it bobbed, and his boxers became wetter. 

“Looks like someone wants us to hurry.” My hands got rid of the useless article altogether. 

“Your turn.” He pushed me back down again. I enjoyed competing to be on top.

“Ow!” Calum clutched my butt too hard, “Careful asshole!”

“Shh be nice and we’ll fuck.” 

An obnoxious snort sounded from me as he fetched lube.

“Oh fuck yeah.” 

As a third finger went in, I sighed but pushed his shoulders. Could he put his dick in already?

Pulling the condom on, he focussed on his dick moving into me. My eyes dropped, letting out a low whine at the long-awaited pleasure. 

“Move.” 

Calum did a snail’s job of sliding out and back in, more focussed on kissing my shoulder blades. 

“Calum.” A sharp tug on his curls did it, “Move it. Faster.”

He smiled and finally, satiating sex - a powerful orgasm from a pretty dick slamming into me, pretty tongue eating me out, pretty hands touching me - all of it.

——x——

Two weeks wasn’t enough to bore me. 

“You’re so beautiful, Luke” He commented for the 100th time; it’s a bonus. 

“Stop crushing my beauty, Calum.” 

He collapsed, flinging words to the ceiling; but he meant them for me. “I love you.”

“Yeah right.” A laugh escaped me, beginning to dress despite a wonderful ache in my ass.

“I’ll call you back when I feel the need.” My hand turned the doorknob. 

“What? You’re leaving?” I frowned. Why was he this upset?

“We were just chilling, Calum.” My smile only deepened his frown. “Just a little bit of company, that’s all you’re gonna get from me.”

“No, that’s not what you said.” Tears built in his eyes, “You said..”

“Trust me, I’m not the one you want to stay. You would know that if you knew me that way.” I lost too much when I got too close. I’ve learnt to leave before getting left.   
He looked down. “Thought I knew you.” 

I raised a hand to pat his shoulder. 

He jerked, sudden anger clouding his tears. “So was this just a booty call? Yet another person to toy with?” He spat, stepping forward, “How do you bear the guilt Luke? How do you live with yourself when you walk away? Are you heartless?”

“I’m numb. My heart’s cold. It’s still there, but it’s so cold, Calum.”

He wasn’t listening anymore. “I slept with a fucking slut.” He tugged at his hair, searching the ground for reprieve from his anger. “Leave already.”

“I’m assuming I won’t be welcome here again?”

Calum glared at me. “Someday, karma will get you back, then you’ll understand the pain.”

But I understood the pain all too well, Calum. “I’d be fine if you left tonight.” 

“So will I.” Calum’s eyes were defiant, fighting the tears. I shut the door, wondering, for the first time in years, if I was doing the wrong thing.

**Author's Note:**

> hope you loved it, have an absolutely super amazing funtastic day :) baiii


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